A Much Needed Reminder

My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual, and physical education I received from her.” ~ George Washington

So Grace began a beautiful card she brought to me this afternoon along with some flowers.

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It never ceases to amaze me how wise beyond her years Grace is.  At 18 she is intuitive enough to know that sometimes even mom’s need affirmation that they have done something right.  When I look at Grace, I know that for all my short-comings, with her I definitely did something good.

For years I struggled with feelings of inadequacy because of psychological games my parents continually bombarded me with.  Eventually I pulled myself from their toxic grasp, yet still allow myself to fall victim to their abuse because for some reason I believe that’s what “a good daughter” should do.  Grace, who has witnessed this for years and now sees it for what it is, tries her best to “make it better.”

No matter how bad I think things might be, all I need do is look at my husband and children and I know, my life is good and regardless of what my parents may say, so am I.  Some days, however, I do forget.

Today Grace gave me a much-needed reminder that what I do matters and so do I, and for this I am — Simply Grateful!

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7 responses

  1. what a wonderful day and I am so glad she thinks of you in such a tender way. I personally moved 1500 miles away from my mother because we just do not see the world in the same way and he was making me sick and crazy…. some times distance is good for the soul!

    • Unfortunately my parents live only about 5 miles from us but over the course of the past 5 years I have gone from seeing them once a twice a week to about once a month. Holidays are slowly being eliminated between us and phone calls are few and far between. Hubby finally had to put his foot down a few years back when my health began to deteriorate. He pretty much told my parents, “You can’t play with her anymore!” If I had it my way we’d move as far away as we could but Hubby’s business is here so we’re stuck for the timebeing. Thankfully Grace is now old enough to be a real support factor along with Hubby. They truly make all the difference in the world.

  2. I have observed it is often those who suffer in childhood who make the best parents because they are more aware of what is needed. Good for you for giving more than you received.

    • I made a vow when I had my children that they would never feel inadequate, invisible, or unloved. So far I don’t think they have ever had any of those awful feelings and I hope I can continue to be a supportive factor in their lives rather than a destructive one. I truly believe that things happen in life for a reason. Not everyone takes the lessons and grows from them, but I am really trying. I am who I am because of the difficulties and although I don’t like the pain it causes me, am grateful that because of it I will do my darnedest not to make the same mistakes.

  3. What a wonderful daughter. So sorry about your parents. Glad your husband stood by you. Sometimes we just need to do what is best for ourselves. I found that out with my siblings recently.

    • Ties were broken with my brother 16 years ago because he and his wife took it personally when we decided to home school our children because his wife was a teacher. They became downright belligerent that we thought we could do better for our children than a government school. This was just the tip of the iceberg which made it clear our lives were incompatible. A shame, but it is what it is. I guess I just thought things were supposed to be different with parents and have been trying to force the issue all these years.

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